The other day I realized that, come July, I will have been blogging for 5 years. FIVE YEARS. You guys, that’s the age of a kindergarten child. Can you believe that? MY BLOG IS ABOUT TO HAVE ITS FIRST DAY OF KINDERGARTEN! GOLDFISH CRACKERS AND FINGER PAINTING FOR EVERYONE!

It’s insane to me that I’ve been sharing my life online for the past five years, and it’s even more insane to think that some of you have been with me that entire time. I mean, the internet is weird, right? Like, we have so much access to each other, and there are so many blogs I’ve read and loved for years and years, and yet I’ve never met or even talked to most of the people behind the avatars. I’ve met some of you, of course, through Bloggers in Sin City and tweetups and random trips around the country, but there are still so many people whose online lives I’m a part of but whose voices I’ve never even heard.

Which brings me to my main point: Isn’t it strange that we have no idea what each other’s voices sound like? I don’t know about you, but I love having a voice and a face to put together with the words on a blog, and I find that I enjoy reading someone’s writing so much more when I can actually hear their voice inside my head.

That’s what I like most about audiobooks and spoken word poetry, I think. There’s an added element of personality that comes from being read to, and I’ve been thinking about how much fun it would be to start a spin-off of this in the blog world. Not spoken word poetry, per se, but how about Spoken Word Bloggery? A chance to go back through your archives, pick a post, record yourself reading it aloud, and then share it on your blog. Man, I’d love if people did that.

But seriously, you guys, LET’S DO THAT. I know, I know, you don’t like the sound of your own voice. Guess what? ME EITHER. Guess what again? NO ONE ELSE EVEN NOTICES THE WEIRD SHIT YOU’RE INSECURE ABOUT BECAUSE THEY’RE TOO BUSY BEING INSECURE ABOUT THEIR OWN SHIT.

Got it? Good.

And, now that we’ve covered that, I’ll even go first by publishing an audio recording of a post I wrote back in January 2011 about my ridiculous mother and her ridiculous funeral demands:

OKAY. WHO’S NEXT?