crotchless jeans, tattoos, and being in love with the airport

When packing for Minnesota last week, I couldn’t believe how light I was traveling.  “Look at me go,” I thought!  “I’m going for four days and am only bringing this tiny bag!  Simplicity FTW!”  The secret to my success was only bringing one pair of pants (my favorite jeans), and a bunch of different tops.  “Who cares if I wear the same jeans all weekend?” I thought, “they’re jeans!  I’m so resourceful!  I should be a professional packer!  Look how tiny my bag is!  Wee!  Self-high-five!”

But of course, as is always the case with me, those should have been considered famous last words.  Because Friday night, less than 24 hours into my trip, I bent down while getting dressed and my jeans ripped.  Not just like, “oh, cute, there’s a hole in the knee.”  More like, “I’m a vagina and there’s NO WAY I’m staying cooped up in this denim prison!! Woo hoo! Freedom! Shake it like a salt shaker!”

And just like that, I had myself a pair of virtually crotchless jeans.

So I did the best thing I could think of at the time: shrugged, tried to tuck the jeans into my underwear a little bit, failed, shrugged again, and went out anyway.  Because I mean, what was the alternative?  Not wearing pants?  At least this way my inner thighs got to enjoy the gorgeous Minnesota breeze as much as I did.

(You’re welcome thighs.)

tattoosThe other weekend highlight was finally getting my fourth tattoo.  I’ve had a small circle on my right wrist for a few years, a circle that symbolizes the continuity of life, the power of cause and effect, and the fact that I really believe everything is connected.  I added my favorite version of the infinity sign to it, one that doesn’t quite let the tips connect with each other, which just reinforces the overall meaning for me.

Doniree got the same symbol, which basically means she’s stuck being my friend for LIFE.

No?  Too creepy?

Anyway, the entire weekend was incredible- the best I’ve had in a long, long time actually.  On Sunday evening, I really wasn’t ready to head home, but the fact that I’m completely in love with the airport definitely helped.  I know, I know, I’m a huge freak- who loves the airport?  I DO! ME! THIS GIRL!  It’s just so anonymous and full of possibility.  I sat there, staring at the departures board and was all, “I could go to Argentina! Greece! Bali! Idaho!” And then I was like, “Wait what? Why the fuck would I want to go to Idaho?” Followed by, “MAYBE IDAHO IS THE BEST PLACE IN THE UNIVERSE AND OMG I WON’T KNOW UNTIL I JUST SACK UP AND GO EVERYWHERE.”

Which is when I realized I was standing in the middle of the airport, yelling at myself, while my vagina was playing peek-a-boo out of the bottom of my jeans.  So, to reprioritize, clearly I’ll buy new jeans and then go to Idaho.

{ 42 comments… read them below or add one }

Shelley May 5, 2009 at 4:08 pm

You still haven't mentioned where you were in Minnesota! I'm glad you had fun.

Your ripped jeans / vagina monologue reminded me of a Dane Cook joke about bad teeth. Which sounds really weird now that I've written it, but it's a funny joke.


Kyla Roma May 5, 2009 at 4:13 pm

You guys got matching tattoos? You are definitely internet besties for life – way to raise the bar for bonding experiences though, nice work!


Lily May 5, 2009 at 4:14 pm

CLEARLY friends for life! :) I miss you. I'm glad you and Minnesota got along so well – sharing adventures, tattoos and everything else, FTW! :)


Peter May 5, 2009 at 4:19 pm

Your vagina says "Woo hoo!"?


nicoleisbetter May 5, 2009 at 4:31 pm

Yours doesn't?


apricot tea. May 5, 2009 at 4:25 pm

I love the meaning of your tattoos. Very beautiful. :]


Jess May 5, 2009 at 4:43 pm

You're amazing. I love you.

I'm glad your vagina was finally able to escape.


nicoleisbetter May 5, 2009 at 6:39 pm

Ah hahaha best blog comment ever. Go Go Fugitive Vagina!


floreta May 5, 2009 at 5:38 pm

haha i love how you write. so funny about your jeans!!

and those are cool tattoos.. love the simplicity and meaning. i think i prefer black tattoos over color.


MinD May 5, 2009 at 5:41 pm

Love the tattoo! Very awesome, and such a great meaning behind it.

Crotchless jeans are in these days. My favorite pair has two holes in the crotch-region and I wear them anyway. Why? 'Cause nobody should be looking at my crotch anyway. And they're my fave. And I've had them for YEARS. And I refuse to buy a new pair.


katelin May 5, 2009 at 5:48 pm

oh i love the new tattoo, it's very cool.

and ummm i've had way too many crotchless jeans in the past. apparently my jeans like to rebel against me, it's pretty sad.


Lauren May 5, 2009 at 6:24 pm

This is the best post EVER. I was cracking up! You had me at "self-high-five." :)

I love the airport as well! It shows the promise of a journey.


Andrea May 5, 2009 at 6:33 pm

As much as I love Vagina Freedom, I have to thank you for reinforcing my obsessive need to overpack for everything.


rachel May 5, 2009 at 6:37 pm

god, i love the two of you. :)


Mishi May 5, 2009 at 6:55 pm

I love that your vagina sings raps songs AND plays peekaboo. That made me laugh.


brookem May 5, 2009 at 7:33 pm

ive been considering a tattoo on my wrist for a while now. does it hurt there?
yours look great!


rs27 May 5, 2009 at 7:34 pm

You would hate me at the airport. I just sit and cry the whole time.


Chris May 5, 2009 at 7:45 pm

I can now confirm that you talk exactly like you write. Which to me is a big compliment.

Thanks again.


Serena May 5, 2009 at 7:46 pm

I LOVE the airport too – so many possibilities. My Dad what you were thinking once…came off the flight from Bali, went around the airport and took the next flight back out for another two weeks lol. I love the fact that you could go literally anywhere you wanted…pants or no pants :-P


Virginia May 5, 2009 at 9:15 pm

Wow, I probably would have used the ripped jeans as an immediate excuse to go shopping. As if I need legit excuses (sorry, wallet). Good work freeballing it all weekend though. And your new tattoo is awesome! Did it hurt?


deutlich May 5, 2009 at 11:23 pm

I bet Idaho would like it better if you did it the other way around.


sizzle May 6, 2009 at 12:27 am

Sweet tats! I am itching to get another.


Alanna May 6, 2009 at 12:59 am

I'm a big fan of airports too… so many people going so many places, I love it. Also, I love your tattoos, but I don't imagine the inside of your wrists is the most pleasant place to get jabbed repeatedly. I guess I'm asking what everyone asks when they see a tattoo: Did it hurt?


nicoleisbetter May 6, 2009 at 3:32 am

Yeah, haha, it definitely hurt. But so, so worth it :)


Brent May 6, 2009 at 2:02 am

We are wrist-tattoo twins. Although I have a Triquetra.

Also, normally I like to think I fucking hate airports because they're too crowded, and the lack of a shiny macbook to help me try to displace the odor of beef jerky wafting in my direction from the smelly asian man next to me presents a problem. But secretly I kind of love them too.


Random Musings May 6, 2009 at 3:28 am

I heart you.

Like. A. Lot.

And I love your new tat too!! I am doing #4 with my sister…


Molly May 6, 2009 at 4:32 am

I love airports, too! Mostly for the people watching – it's amazing!


Jen May 6, 2009 at 10:38 am

I love everything about this post. The tats, the vag playing peek-a-boo, the airport being a portal for vast journeys ahead…oh yeah – and I almost peed myself I was laughing so hard. Epic post. :-)


lucklys May 6, 2009 at 5:50 pm

yep, been there done that! i wore a pair of jeans i'd had for over a year (by far the longest i've ever owned any item of clothing) for a week straight and ended up wearing out the butt so much so that they ripped in nice straight lines from the crotch seam, under the back pockets (booty shorts!) to the other seam on the outside of the leg. i guess i could have used them as assless chaps…


gemma May 7, 2009 at 1:35 am

hahaha you crack me up! the tattoo sic! and airports? rock the casbah. such great shopping there, these days!


Allison May 7, 2009 at 1:42 am

Tag you're it. Go check out my blog lovely lady.


camels & chocolate May 7, 2009 at 4:47 am

HAHAHA, that is something that would happen to me! And I don't really like airports, but that could because I spend approximately 74% of my life in one.


trigirl May 7, 2009 at 5:23 am

Hahaha! That's hilarious! The tattoo looks great too.

Oh, and airports are the best. I'm a creepy people watcher though, so maybe it's not the best for your normal average non-creepy person. Hmm.. Who knows. :-)


Elizabeth May 7, 2009 at 5:55 am

It sounds like you had such a great time! I can't wait to meet you both!!

Also, I do the very same thing in airports. Hmm…Caracas? Reykjavik? I'm game for going pretty much anywhere, and I am pretty sure we need to form a blogger travel coalition.


Lisa May 7, 2009 at 8:49 pm

I love you love you love you. Who else would just nonchalantly tuck their jeans in their underwear and go on with things?

Also, those tatotos look pretty on your delicate wrist.


Mara J. May 8, 2009 at 2:07 pm

crotchless jeans….you could start a clothing line. there is a whole underground world of people who like fucking in public. with your jeans, imagine the possibilities.


E.P. May 8, 2009 at 7:26 pm

I'm a huge airport/travel fan, as well, and it makes me happy that y'all got matching tattoos! SO awesome!

Less than a month 'till Vegas (and more traveling!) Woo!


Dan May 22, 2009 at 12:50 am

Awesome tattoo.


Kenz May 31, 2009 at 11:36 pm

hah Idaho… I live in Idaho, it's not bad. It's pretty in a farm-ish sort of way. But it's hot and quite dry. I used to hate living here now I'm starting to like it alot. Come visit Idaho! (hah I feel like one of those "Visit *insert state here* commercials")


Michael May 5, 2010 at 7:38 am

I somehow ended up saying “crotchless jeans for the win” to my brother… Hmm… He asked what crotchless jeans are, so I had to google it. Which lead me to this awesome awesome AWESOME blog!


Roxana December 5, 2010 at 10:47 am

Hey, funny thing i was just looking for circle tattoo designs because i wanted to get a tattoo with a single circle on my wrist but everyone said that that is to simple so I wanted to look for something more “sofisticated” so on my search on google i found this blog. It’s very funny because I wanted to draw the circle in the same place that you have it :) so I’m glad i’m not the only one :) thanks for making my day and maybe we-ll talk some more about tattoos


Robin May 23, 2012 at 9:53 am

I pinned your infinity and circle tattoo pic to my pinterest (I’m new to it) and I wanted to inform you in case you don’t want your pic all over the place.

I’ve been searching circle/eternity tattoos and found yours which I think are perfect. Simple, clean and meaningful. Thanks for posting (even though it was years ago).


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